The truth is, I don’t have an answer to the “where are you now” question. I don’t feel like I’ve landed my theological plane and, in reality, I don’t feel any need to.
This experience revealed something to me: this is a topic that is not discussed enough. For reasons I will get into shortly, vasectomies are an important part of men’s health and essential to conversations about sexual and reproductive health.
I had no idea what I believed anymore, and all the while, I continued to try to lead a church. I continued to stand up on Sunday and sing “blessed assurance Jesus is mine” when I had no idea what that meant anymore.
That was my moment. “Oh, I get it now.” I had never experienced that kind of emotional intensity before. Seeing Nate’s face drop, seeing that tear well up in his eye made my heart hurt so much that I was (not really) willing to punch a child in the face.
Simply put, evangelicalism ceased to be a genuine way for me to live out my faith. A faith that engaged the world with love first, was intellectually honest, sought solidarity with “the least of these,” and actively pursued a diverse community. For me (and many others I know) American Evangelicalism has lost its spiritual, social, and moral authority.